“Happy Birthday to you!”
Have you ever hosted a child’s birthday party?
Oh my, all the excitement, delight and the noise!
Manners and good behaviour are forgotten, but that’s part of the experience, isn’t it?
But does it have to be?
The children can still have lots of fun and be well-behaved at the same time – well, let’s be realistic here.
They can be reasonably well-behaved – most of the time.
Practice and preparation ahead of the party helps to make this happen. It doesn’t matter if your child is a host or a party goer they can still be ready for the event with some role-playing and discussions before the day of the party and reminders on the actual date.
Expectations of the host
- They should be able to greet each guest with some measure of enthusiasm – even if Bobby-Jo isn’t their favourite cousin.
- They can thank each gift-giver for their present – even if they already have that particular Lego set or no longer collect My Little Pony.
- They can thank each guest for coming or at least acknowledge their departure. “Bye Sydney!” “See you, Jill!” “So long, Angela!”
Expectations of the guests
As for the invited guests
- When they arrive they can greet their host and wish them a happy birthday.
- They can give their gift to their young host slowly and with eye contact-not shoving it at them as they hurry past or leave it forgotten by the door.
- At the close of the party they can thank their host for inviting them or at least acknowledge them as they leave with a “Bye Freda!” “See you, Leslie!” “So long, Maddox!” instead of hunting through their goodie bag to see what they got!
Practicing birthday manners
Discussing Birthday Behaviour is a good place to start. Engage your child in the conversation with a few questions.
For the host
If your child is the host what will they say or do?
- What could you say when your friends arrive?
- How will they know that you are happy to see them?
- When they give you a gift what could you say? What will you do with the gift? Toss it onto a chair? Leave it on the floor near the shoes?
- When you are unwrapping the presents what could you say as you open each gift?
- When the party is over what could you say? Is it okay to ignore your guests and just play with the gifts?
For the guests
If your child is a guest what will they say or do?
- When you arrive at the party what do you think you could say when the door opens?
- What do you think about using eye contact and smiling? Is that important? Why do you think that? How will that make………..(host’s name) feel? How would you feel if I just walked past you when I arrived and didn’t say anything?
- What will you do with your gift? Will you throw it? No, of course not. That was a silly thing for me to say, wasn’t it? Can you show me how you will give it to ……..?
To add some fun to the experience of preparing and practicing you could add some silly suggestions.
For the discussion about guest, behaviour you could suggest some ridiculous situations and ask what they think of them such as:
- Is it okay to jump on the furniture?
- Will you spill your drink and drop food on the floor?
- Will you run around behaving like a hungry hippo?
On the day of the party
- friends to greet
- new toys to play with
- games to play
- crafts to make
- and yummy treats to eat!
