“Why don’t you understand?”
“Why don’t you agree?”
We all have opinions and ideas we want to share. But have you ever found that your reasons for thinking as you do are unclear or vague? Perhaps other people just don’t seem to get your point.
You aren’t the only one!
Even politicians, community leaders and our bosses at work sometimes fail to give us enough information to make an informed decision. Often, their reasoning seems to be based more on emotion than explanation.
For example:
“This would be an amazing addition to our town.”
But what would make the proposed project so amazing? Who would benefit from it? What would it include?
Without that information, the proposal isn’t very convincing. To make it stronger and easier to understand, it needs support.
Learning how to support an idea is an important effective speaking skill for children, too. Whether they are participating in a homeschool discussion, answering a question, giving a presentation or trying to convince you that they really should be allowed to have a sleepover, they need to do more than simply state what they want or believe.
What Does It Mean to Support an Idea or Opinion?
Support is anything that makes an idea, opinion, proposal or suggestion clearer, stronger and, in many cases, more persuasive.
Support can take many forms, including:
- Details
- Facts
- Examples
- Causes and effects
- Problems and solutions
- Personal experiences
- Quotations or information from experts
- Visual aids
- Logical reasons
Children don’t need to learn all these forms of support at once. Begin with simple details and examples, and gradually introduce other ways they can explain and strengthen their ideas.
Let’s look at how several forms of support could be used during a community discussion about a new bike park.
Using Details, Facts and Examples
Suppose you are attending a community meeting to discuss the development of a new bike park. One city councillor says:
“The bike park will be easy to get to and provide lots of ways for children to exercise. It will be located at the corner of Fraser and Porter streets. It will cover half an acre and include winding paths and small hills to bike over. There will also be three concrete ramps that reach a maximum height of four feet, while the dirt hills will vary from one to three feet tall.”
The councillor has supported the proposal by providing details and facts about the park’s location, size and features.
Instead of simply hearing that the park will be accessible and encourage exercise, listeners now have enough information to begin visualizing it. They can picture the winding paths, hills and ramps and better understand how the space might be used.
This is one of the simplest lessons we can teach children about support: Don’t just tell us what you think. Give us the details that will help us understand.
Explaining Causes and Effects
Other speakers at the meeting might be concerned about safety.
Someone could say:
“This park will be too dangerous! Children could be injured by falling off the hills or onto the concrete ramps.”
This speaker has stated an opinion and given a general reason, but the concern could be made clearer by explaining the possible causes of the danger and their effects.
For example:
“Hills over one foot high may be difficult for the youngest riders to bike over while maintaining their balance. Riders could also crash into one another on the ramps if they approach from different directions.”
Now listeners can better understand the specific safety concerns. The speaker has explained not only what might happen, but also why it might happen.
Children can use cause and effect to support many of their own ideas:
“If we leave the art supplies on the table, the paint could dry out and we won’t be able to use it again.”
“If I finish my schoolwork before lunch, I’ll have time to play outside with my friend.”
Teaching children to explain causes and effects helps them move beyond simply saying that something is “good,” “bad,” “fair” or “unfair.”
Identifying Problems and Suggesting Solutions
A strong discussion doesn’t have to stop once a problem has been identified. Speakers can also suggest possible solutions.
In the bike park discussion, someone might propose:
“There could be a separate area for younger riders with lower hills and no concrete ramps. Parental supervision could be required, and arrows could be painted on the concrete to show riders which direction to travel.”
These suggestions acknowledge the safety concerns without automatically rejecting the entire project.
This is a particularly valuable skill for children. It teaches them that they can do more than complain about a problem. They can think about what might improve the situation.
You might encourage this at home or in the classroom by asking:
- What exactly is the problem?
- Who is affected by it?
- What could be changed?
- What solution do you suggest?
- Why do you think that solution would work?
Sharing Personal Experience
Speakers can also support an idea by sharing relevant personal experience.
For example:
“Bike parks are fun and provide plenty of exercise. I know because I used them for several years. At first, biking was simply a fun way to burn off energy. Later, it became part of my early training for bike marathons.”
Personal experience helps explain why someone holds a particular opinion. It can also make the speaker’s point easier for others to relate to and remember.
Children already have experiences they can use as support, although they may need help recognizing them.
A child might say:
“I think we should grow tomatoes in our garden because we grew them last year, and we ate them all summer.”
Another might explain:
“I don’t think that book is too difficult for me. I read another book by the same author and understood it.”
Follow-up questions such as “How do you know?” or “Has that happened to you before?” can help children connect an opinion to something they have experienced.
Referring to an Expert
Information from someone with knowledge or experience in a particular area can also strengthen an idea.
During the bike park discussion, someone could share a recommendation from a cycling instructor, healthcare professional or park designer.
For example:
“A local cycling instructor recommended creating separate areas for beginning and experienced riders so children can develop their skills more safely.”
When teaching children to use experts as support, help them consider:
- Who provided the information?
- What experience or knowledge does that person have?
- Is the information relevant to the discussion?
- Is the source trustworthy?
Using Visual Aids and Logical Reasons
Other forms of support could also be used during the bike park meeting.
Visual aids might include:
- A map showing the proposed location
- A diagram of the park’s layout
- Photographs of similar completed parks
- A video showing how different areas could be used
Speakers could also provide a list of logical reasons for building the park. Perhaps the community needs more outdoor recreation spaces, local children have requested a safe place to ride, or the closest existing bike park is too far away for most families.
Visuals and logical reasons can help listeners understand both what is being proposed and why.
Strong Support Encourages Better Discussions
Using a variety of support does not guarantee that everyone will agree. It does, however, make different viewpoints easier to understand and respect.
It also encourages meaningful discussion rather than a simple exchange of unsupported opinions.
In the case of the bike park, interested and concerned citizens could form a committee to discuss the proposal further. They could share different viewpoints, consider the available information, address concerns and, hopefully, reach decisions or compromises.
Children of many ages can learn to do the same thing on a smaller scale. They can participate in family and group discussions, listen to different viewpoints and express their own ideas using clear, well-supported statements.
Children Can Learn to Support Their Ideas
Lessons about supporting ideas and opinions might seem better suited to children aged ten and older, but the concept can be introduced much earlier.
Even young children can learn to add a reason, detail or example to what they say.
Instead of:
“I want to go outside.”
They might learn to say:
“I want to go outside because I’ve been sitting for a long time and would like to run around.”
That one added reason makes the child’s request clearer and opens the door to a real conversation.
In the next blog, Teaching Support to Three- and Four-Year-Olds: Help Your Toddler or Preschooler Be More Expressive, we’ll look at simple ways to introduce support to very young children and help them express their thoughts more clearly.
Be warned, however: children can quickly become persuasive and powerful speakers!
Before long, they may be presenting well-supported arguments about:
- Why they should be allowed to go to a sleepover
- Why they need a new bike
- Why they should be able to exchange their garbage-collecting chore for something much less stinky!
More Resources for Developing Effective Speaking Skills
For more instruction and practical ideas to help your child become an effective speaker, explore these related resources:
Related blogs:
Learning Resource:
Sharing Opinions: From Thoughts to Words
This essential guide equips children with the skills to express their opinions with clarity and conviction. Packed with interactive activities, practical tips, and inclusive strategies, it encourages family-wide engagement in building stronger, more meaningful conversations and decisions.
