Many children between the ages of 5 and 7 love to talk. They enjoy sharing their experiences, stories, thoughts and opinions, and we enjoy listening… most of the time!
Sometimes, however, the information is incomplete, disorganized or a little confusing. You may understand what your child wants, but still be wondering why they think it’s a good idea.
They’re still young, right? Can we really expect them to explain themselves clearly?
While children have many communication skills still to develop, they can begin learning simple ways to support what they say. Everyday conversations are a good place to practise.
In my previous blog, How to Help Children Ages 5–7 Explain Their Ideas and Opinions, I shared ways to encourage children to add details and draw on personal experiences.
This blog takes that one step further: helping children include what other people have said or experienced to explain and strengthen an idea.
Three ways children can support their ideas
- Details: What does it look like? What things happen there?
- Personal experiences: What have they done or noticed before?
- Others’ comments and experiences: What have friends or family members said or experienced?
These give the listener more information to understand the child’s thinking.
What does this sound like in a conversation?
Suppose your child wants to hold their next birthday party at a local indoor gym. They might say:
“I want to have my party at the gym. I think it would be a lot of fun. We could play games with balls and beanbags, and maybe even a bit of basketball. Trevor had his party there, and we all had a lot of fun.
Cynthia really liked it, too. Tony and Mary both wished they could go again. They enjoyed all the space to run around.”
There’s much more here than “I want my party at the gym!”
Let’s look at the different parts:
- Proposal: “I want to have my party at the gym.”
- Opinion: “I think it would be a lot of fun.”
- Details: “We could play games with balls and beanbags, and maybe even a bit of basketball.”
- Personal experience: “Trevor had his party there, and we all had a lot of fun.”
- Opinions and experiences of others: “Cynthia really liked it, too. Tony and Mary both wished they could go again. They enjoyed all the space to run around.”
The details, memories and friends’ comments help explain why the child thinks the gym is a good choice.
Adults and young people use these same methods to inform, explain, persuade and entertain. Children can practise them, too. As their explanations become clearer, listeners can follow their thinking and respond more thoughtfully.
Six ways to encourage stronger communication skills
1. Ask questions that invite more information
- “Why do you think that’s a good idea?”
- “Can you tell me why we should do that?”
- “Have you done that before? What did you like or dislike about it?”
- “What did your friends say about it?”
2. Offer a simple prompt
- “Tell me a little more about that.”
- “Tell me about a time you tried it.”
- “What have other people said or done?”
3. Explain why details matter
Talk about how extra information helps you understand their idea.
You might say, “Now that you’ve told me what you enjoyed at Trevor’s party, I understand why you’d like to have yours there.”
This shows your child how their explanation helped you follow their thinking.
4. Share examples they can relate to
Use familiar situations to show how a reason supports a suggestion.
For example:
“I think Grandma would like another plant. She really liked the one we gave her last time, and she told us it’s still growing on her windowsill.”
Point out how the past experience and Grandma’s comment help explain the choice.
5. Model it in your own conversations
When you make a suggestion during a family discussion, include your reasons.
Explain what you’ve noticed, recall a relevant experience or share something another person has told you. Your child can hear how you support an idea and begin trying it themselves.
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6. Notice examples in books and movies
When reading a book or watching a movie together, look for a character who explains an idea using details, experiences or someone else’s comments.
You could ask, “What reason did they give?” or “How did that help us understand what they wanted?”
Keep it brief and connected to the story you’re enjoying.
Small conversations give children opportunities to practise
Over my years as an effective speaking coach for students ages 5 to 18, I was frequently impressed by their ability to become stronger communicators.
Even the youngest students learned to use details, personal experiences and the opinions and experiences of others to make their comments clearer and more effective.
Children can practise these skills at home with your guidance and encouragement. They won’t include every type of support in every conversation, but you can help them build the habit of explaining a little more.
Try it during your next family discussion. When your child makes a suggestion, ask one curious question: “What makes you think that’s a good idea?” Listen to their answer, then share a reason of your own.
For more ways to help your child communicate clearly, explore:
